Day 22: Kissing

22. Talk about your first kiss.

I’m behind on posting, I know. Sorry! It was a busy weekend. Time to play catch up. 

My first kiss was pretty great. I was 16 when I had my first real kiss. I don’t count my preschool boyfriend, even though we did get pretty frisky for 4 year olds. We even got married (and divorced) repeatedly. I guess I didn’t have the same fear of commitment back then that I do now. 

Anyway, my first real kiss was with a guy named Robert. I had had a crush on his brother, David, and didn’t know Robert existed until David transferred to a different school and Robert, who was at another school at the time, transferred to my school. I don’t know why, but Robert, David and their younger brother Bobby (who ended up being my coworker last year, ironic), transferred schools a lot and never seemed to be at the same school at the same time. Very strange. Anyway, I was at school one afternoon after hours, and I saw David walking with Robert who I didn’t know yet. David and I were friends and we sat together on the school bus so he introduced us and told Robert that when he started school there, he had to sit next to me on the bus to take his place. It was cute, but sad because I really really liked David and didn’t want him to leave. 

But he did leave, and Robert started sitting next to me. One day, I was wearing a low cut shirt that showed a lot of cleavage (I have really big boobs, haha) and we were flirting and at some point, for some reason, he decided to write his phone number on my cleavage. I’m not kidding. For a girl who had had one boyfriend and was never kissed, this was a big deal. A boy, who was not my gay best friend Trevor, was touching my boobs on the school bus. Scandalous, I know. I never called him or anything, and I don’t think I was texting at this point because that was new, but he messaged me that night on Myspace (showing my age here) and said that he really wanted to kiss me today. And I was like, “well why didn’t you?” So he basically said that he would the following day, and I was extremely nervous and excited. I didn’t tell him that it would be my first kiss. And I was naive and thought that he’d kiss me and we’d become boyfriend and girlfriend, all that romantic mumbo jumbo. But he was kind of a whore. I didn’t know it at the time. 

The next day, sure enough, he kissed me. The first kiss wasn’t a shy little peck, either. He really went for it. We were making out, and that’s when I knew that he’d probably had a lot of previous experience. This went on for like a week, us making out on the bus. Which is a little annoying to me now because I don’t really like PDA, especially that level of PDA. I was starting to realize that he wasn’t going to ask me to be his girlfriend. Not even close. He invited me over to his house so we could do this “in private,” meaning he totally wanted to have sex. That terrified me so I blew him off. Our bus driver finally threatened to suspend us from the bus if we continued, and a few days later, he stopped riding the bus. I was grateful, because while it was fun, it was scary because I knew he wanted so much more. I later found out that he was dating a girl who I became friends with in college, Heather, most likely while we were kissing, so he was a cheater. I was the other woman for my first kiss.

But overall, my first kiss was really special and he was one of the best kissers I’ve experienced, and I’ve kissed a lot of people at this point. He certainly knew what he was doing. I tend to compare everyone I kiss to him. Most first kisses are sloppy and/or awkward and weird, so I’m thankful that mine was with someone who was so comfortable doing it. I’ve been told that I’m a great kisser, and I definitely think he’s partially to thank for that, because he taught me a lot. 

About a week after we stopped our mini fling, one of my guy friends, Sharron, heard about all this and then he messaged me on Myspace asking why I wasn’t making out with him. I was pretty shocked because I hadn’t had a ton of boys interested in me before, and now all of a sudden they were everywhere. Sharron had a girlfriend, so I told him that that was why I wasn’t making out with him. The next day, he broke up with her. I’m not proud of myself for this, but we started a little week long make out fling similar to the one I had with Robert. We actually did it in class during a movie, in between classes, etc. One of my favorite teachers saw us holding hands in the hallway and instantly changed her opinion of me because I was a “nice girl” who was with this slacker who got sent out of class daily. He was also a good kisser, though. He had really big lips which was nice. So over the course of 2 weeks, I got a lot of kissing practice. Maybe that’s why I’ve become the girl who makes out with every guy (and most girls) at a party. 

I love kissing. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. It’s a lot of fun to be romantic or flirty or just have a good time with someone without all of the silly attachments. Maybe it’s because I started with no strings attached kissing that I like it so much. I think as long as no one is getting hurt, it’s totally fine and can be a lot of fun for everyone involved. 

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