Day 14: Commitment

14. You can tell a lot about a person by looking at what scares them. Name a few times in your life where you were truly terrified.

I’m only going to tell one story, I don’t want to give away all of my fears at once. 

Last semester I was dating a boy. (Yes, it’s another story about an ex, I’m sorry.) We had been dating for nearly two months at this point and were at the mall one day when we passed a jewelry store. He made some stupid joke about buying me a ring (yeah, like an engagement ring), and I almost had a panic attack in the middle of Crabtree Valley Mall. I am not exaggerating. In my head I knew that he was joking, but I was so terrified and panicked that I acted differently, weird and distant, for the rest of the night. I think that was the beginning of the end of that relationship. 

If your fears say a lot about who you are as a person, this freak out I had makes it pretty clear that I am terrified of commitment. It’s probably a good thing that he made that joke, because I began reevaluating the relationship and thinking about the future, which made me realize that I didn’t want him in mine. I’m just not ready for any kind of serious commitment and don’t know if I ever will be. I can’t even commit to a brand of shampoo. 

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