I have had three.
Seth is a character on Parenthood, and if you don’t watch the show, he’s the ex husband of one of the main characters, Sarah. Everyone has at least one Seth in their life. He’s a total screw up and his sole purpose in your life is to make your life more difficult but for some reason, you never stop believing in him; believing that he’ll change, get better, stop perpetually hurting you. But he doesn’t, and he won’t. You’ll constantly make excuses for your Seth, blame his vices or problems that he’s struggling with, but in the end, there’s no one to blame but Seth, and you for allowing him to consistently mess things up for you.
My life is Seth-free right now, and that feels really good. My three major Seths were Jay, Jessie, and Karina. I’ve talked a bit about Jay and Jessie, but never Karina. That’s another story for another day and another blog post. When you have a Seth, you can’t imagine your life without him/her. It’s inconceivable. They mean so much to you and you can’t explain it to anyone because all the world sees is all of their mistakes, all of the hurtful things they’ve done to you. But I promise, life is better without your Seth. And when you have one, you’d never believe it. But once you’ve purged your life of that pesky Seth, it makes sense. It becomes clear and you’re able to look at the situation objectively and you see that Seth was never going to change.
Seths hold you back. They make you constantly unhappy. The best thing you can do is get rid of them. But 9 times out of 10, you don’t realize that a Seth is a Seth until they’re out of your life. And sometimes it takes a long time without them to come to that realization. I’m not saying that you should immediately call your Seth and tell him you never want to see him again, because we are the most stubborn when it comes to those people in our lives. Nothing anyone can say will make us leave them when they clearly need us. You’ve just got to ride out the Seth storm, and eventually, they’ll leave. Because you won’t be able to leave them. And you’ll be devastated but you’ll understand after time that that’s what was best for you.
It’s cheesy, but I’ve been thinking about my Seths a lot lately and I think it is helping me avoid inviting future Seths into my life. Once you know what a Seth looks like, you’re more likely to spot them before it’s too late. Good luck, you’re going to need it. But I promise you’ll come out on the other side a stronger and better person.