Stop giving me the warm fuzzies so close to Valentine’s Day! You stop that right now!
I am trying so hard not to like this guy because everything in me knows that I can’t do that right now. It will get in the way of me achieving my goals and that has to be what’s most important to me right now. For the first time since birth, basically, I’m not in school or any other school-like facility (I started going to daycare when I was 2 weeks old). This isn’t just a winter or summer break, I’m done (until I- hopefully- get into grad school). I have no more excuses.
I’d like to take a moment to pause in the middle of this post to tell you all that I just made a weird half choking/half squealing noise at the flirty text I just received. I can’t handle this. I don’t know what happened because I was keeping my distance and being flirty but casual and maintaining my ‘you’re cool but I’m not obsessed with you or anything’ attitude and I feel like that’s all starting to fail. I mean we don’t even talk every day, we didn’t talk at all for two days but now we are and I’m falling apart.
I’m sending the most awkward/embarrassing text right now and I’m pretty sure he’ll actually be able to feel me blushing as he reads it. When you have to write in a text “I just need to stop talking now,” you should probably just stop. I love how I started this post saying that he needs to stop and now I’m the one who needs to stop. I’m just feeling all kinds of feels.
On the one hand, I love it. I love this. I love crushing on people. It’s one of the best feelings ever. But I prefer it when the feeling isn’t mutual because then it’s a lot of stress involved and OH DEAR GOD the text I just got stopped me mid sentence I’m sorry what was I even talking about help me someone call 911. This is getting too real for me, I just can’t.
I feel like I totally started this post with a purpose and now I don’t know what that was. Haha. Oh well. Basically I’m excited for Valentine’s Day and hopefully I will try to simmer down with all this crush nonsense before it gets completely out of my control.