The guy I’ve been talking to from Tinder wants me to have dinner with him on Saturday and I’m freaking out. I’m too far in this to just ignore his texts from now on. I actually really like talking to him. But I don’t want to ruin it by meeting him. Sounds crazy, right? Well, it’s true. It’d ruin everything. We have so many differences and it’d never work. I may have Facebook stalked him (don’t judge me) and found out that politically and religiously we’re complete opposites. But I still think he’s a great guy and I’d like to continue talking to him. Does that make me wrong? Am I leading him on? I don’t know. This isn’t the first time I’d developed a crush on a guy who has different values than me. And I ended up lying to him, telling him that I hadn’t lost my virginity because he values girls who wait until marriage to have sex. I’m still angry at myself for that lie because, while he’s a really sweet guy, he has a lot of misogynistic views and I shouldn’t be ashamed of myself or try to hide the things that I’ve done because then I’m just playing into the idea that girls who have and enjoy sex are sluts, and that’s not cool. Maybe I’m headed down the same path with this guy, but it’s hard because he’s so genuine and he’s the first guy I’ve liked who is smart, really smart.
I’m talking to him about my fears and he’s being so great about it which makes me feel even worse.
I’ll keep you guys updated on this situation as it progresses, and feel free to tell me if you think I need to shut this down before I get in too deep!
So if you read my post yesterday, you know that I set some goals for myself for this week only. Yesterday, I completed all of my goals, but today I failed one: I didn’t quit my bad habit. I know, it’s awful when I can’t even make it one day without it. I’m going to try again tomorrow, though.
And if you didn’t see yesterday’s post, my goals are to quit my habit, only drink water and coffee, write once a day, exercise daily, and go to bed before 11:30 and wake up before 11. Which means my bedtime is quickly approaching. This is hard. But I’m hoping that it’ll all be worth it.
Ps. if you’re confused by the title of this post, I tried to text Maggie saying that I was gonna panic but autocorrect changed it to pancake. And I thought it was funny. Also, I miss pancakes. Diets are hard.