4. Describe your ideal partner.
This is a fun one. I’m going to write this post in list format.
- Intelligence is key! Smart is sexy. I like guys who are smarter than me; guys who make me feel inferior (not on purpose, of course) so that I strive to learn more and be better. The guys I’ve developed the biggest crushes on are extremely intelligent and they read often. My most recent crush reads the New Yorker religiously and writes incredibly well- better than me. That’s enough to make my clothes come off instantly. Unfortunately, I’ve been smarter than every guy I’ve ever dated (except one), and they don’t challenge me at all. That will change with whoever I date next.
- When it comes to appearance, I definitely have a type. My friends and even my family will often point out a guy we see in public and say something along the lines of “I bet you think he’s cute.” Or if I point at a guy I find attractive, they’re not surprised. Tall, burly and bearded men- that’s what I like. Lumberjack chic.
- Liberal. Politically informed. Aware of what’s going on in the world. Believes in equality for all people regardless of race, gender and sexuality. Also, non-religious is a plus.
- Confident. I’ve dated so many guys who were riddled with insecurities and I hate it. I don’t look like a model, but I like the way I look. I’m happy with who I am and the things that I don’t like, I work on fixing rather than dwelling on them. On that note, I’ve lost 4 pounds in 3 days, so that’s exciting. Basically, I like myself and my appearance and I want someone who feels the same way. I hate having to constantly reassure guys that I’m into them and attracted to them, and usually, I won’t do it. Rather than stroking their egos I essentially tell them to get over it. I know that a lot of people can’t help being insecure, and I understand it, but that’s not the kind of person I want to be with.
- To quote Maggie, “someone who hast their shit together.” I can’t stress this enough. My last boyfriend didn’t have his shit together and it wouldn’t be that big of a deal if he were at least working toward getting his shit together. I don’t have my shit together, but I have a plan and I’m taking steps to implement that plan. And in the meantime, I’m working and saving almost all of the money I make. My ex worked 15 hours a week and lived paycheck to paycheck, spending his money on useless things. He constantly tried to buy me stuff and it annoyed me so much because he didn’t have the money to spend wastefully. He admitted that it made him feel “like a man” to be able to buy me things, and that idea is so completely ridiculous. (Sorry for turning this into another rousing segment of ‘Kristi Rants About Her Exes’). I just want my next boyfriend to either be in school, have a grown up job, or be looking for a grown up job or applying to schools.
- A movie lover. He doesn’t have to be a complete film buff who reads books like Fellini on Fellini and only watches movies that have a rating of 80 or higher on Rotten Tomatoes (although that would be nice). But if I ask a guy what kind of movies he likes and he says “I don’t really like movies” or “I only like movies with explosions” or “Anything Michael Bay touches turns to gold” I will be instantly turned off. Film is a huge part of my life and I want to be able to share that with a partner.
- Older guys. My most recent crush who I spoke about before is 32. I’m 22. That’s a pretty large gap. The crush before that was 27. But honestly I’m not interested in most of the guys my age. The personality traits I’m interested in are typically found in older men.
- A sense of humor is huge. I love funny guys. If you can make me laugh you are that much closer to getting my clothes off. And, making me fall for you, I guess. But mainly the first one.
I know that seems like a lot to ask and not all of these are completely mandatory. I have standards for myself and it’s not like I’m asking for the perfect guy. Just the one who’s perfect for me. I’ve actually met guys who meet all of these requirements (including the aforementioned previous crush).