Use Your Words

How do you know if someone really likes (or even loves) you? 

Some would say that actions speak louder than words. But for me, it’s all about the words. Maybe that’s just the English major and writer in me. 

I don’t fall for actions, I fall for words. You can bring me flowers and that’s nice, but the words you speak are who you are. That’s what I want to see.

But people can lie, right? Sure. But I can tell who’s being completely honest in their words and who’s bullshitting me. 

You’re pretty. You’re nice. You’re smart. I like you. I love you. Without more to back these phrases up, they’re empty signifiers. If these are the only nice things a guy says about me, it becomes clear that he doesn’t really know me and probably has no desire to get to know me. If he knew me, he’d know how important words are to me.

I love the way your cheeks flush after two beers. I love that tiny mole that not many people get to see. I love your grumpy face and the baby voice that accompanies it when you’re pretending to be mad. I love that you’re so close to your mom. I love that you fall in love with strangers every time you leave the house. I love how passionate you are about writing. I love that you’re always cold but you never wear a coat when we go out because you’re stubborn.

These are real, tangible things. When someone tells you that they love the way you wink with both eyes or curse more when you’re drunk- when someone notices the little things about you, they probably honestly like you. People don’t fall in love with pretty, nice, smart people. People fall in love with people. Messy, complicated, real. Pretty, nice and smart may make you feel good in the moment, but it won’t last. I love the way you play with your hair constantly to the point where it annoys the hell out of me but it’s still adorable. If you like, love or care about someone, it’s time to start using your words. 

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